From logging on to walking in: My experience adjusting to in-person school
The cold breeze of the bedroom fan wakes me up as I prepare myself for a new day, promising myself that ‘today will be different’.
I constantly remind myself of this promise as I carry out my morning chores out of habit: brushing my teeth, making my bed, doing the dishes–the usual. And throughout the one-hour time frame of the morning routine, the promise in my head fizzles out like a spark past its prime.
By the time I reach the car, there’s very little left. It’s not that I don’t have the energy, I just don’t have the drive. The drive that was ever-so-necessary to do something different just isn’t there.
Just like any other day.
By the time I reach campus, the only thought echoing through my mind is to get the day over with. Seven classes, eight hours and no time to think in between. Moving around the crowded hallways, greeting my teacher and sitting down in my chair to work are all separate actions. It feels like one continuous motion. A motion that repeats itself seven times throughout the day until the sound of the final bell echoes throughout the campus at 4:10 p.m.
The drive back from school is the same as the one prior in the day; a jumbled mess of incoherent thoughts plaguing my mind as I arrive back home. After a much needed shower and 30 minutes of free-time, my mind spirals into a tensed frenzy formed by a single thought: homework.
As I open up the HUB, my eyes are unenthusiastically greeted by a barrage of assignments displayed at the top-right corner of the screen; the magical number of 11:59 p.m. appearing below each one of them. I storm through the assignments, disregarding any need for double checking my work or if I have answered every question. As soon as the ‘submitted’ icon pops over the final assignment, I slam the laptop screen shut and rush out of my study to eat dinner.
And to be honest, that’s all I can remember.
Everything from that point forward just includes a half-awake boy trying to find his way to a bed and a blanket. Turning the lights off and turning the fan on. And as a cold breeze envelops the room, a slight regret tugs at the burrows of my brain, hoping to remember a promise that had not surfaced since the beginning of the day.
This ‘routine’ was my entire September. Unfortunately, I wasn’t aware of it back then, at least not to the level that I am aware of now.
When school opened back up on Aug. 27, I was excited. I met new people. I made new friends. I saw actual people other than my parents for the first time in one and a half years. It was exhilarating. I had absolutely no clue what I was doing, but I was enjoying it.
So when school continued on Aug. 28, so did this weird sense of wonder. Except here’s the thing about school: the first day is the tutorial level. And the second day is the final boss.
The day played out the same way. I still had no idea what I was supposed to be doing. Except this time, it wasn’t a happy feeling. Class after class. Lecture after lecture. The assignments that piled up throughout the day kept me busy until 8 p.m. You know how the rest plays out.
And on the morning of Aug. 29, I was ready for school but not excited. The ever-so-present wonder that had swallowed me during the first day of school had lasted for a whopping 48 hours.
Fast forward a month, and I know what I did wrong.
I did too much.
Or at least from an academic perspective. While there were good grades, I had no personal satisfaction. And that’s what it really boils down to: personal satisfaction and happiness. These two things are essential for a good morning, and even more so, for a good school day. Although good grades can offer satisfaction and pride, they lack purpose.
A recent document from the U.S. Department of Education highlights, with incredible detail, the problems that have risen due to the barriers and changes in education because of COVID-19. The article is 61 pages long, with 49 of those pages being detailed reports of the problems. The issues range from abuse to language barriers to drops in academic achievement, but what I want to talk about is mental health.
The document states that “nearly three in 10 parents surveyed in a Gallup poll said their child was ‘experiencing harm to [their] emotional or mental health,’ with 45 percent citing the separation from teachers and classmates as a “major challenge.” This separation from the classroom has caused a decrease in American students’ learning, as not everyone could connect to a computer last year. And even when it was possible to connect, there wasn’t enough time or engagement to learn.
The impact of this is blindingly obvious. The amount of ideas and concepts that I’m trying to wrap my head around throughout the day makes me feel like I’m trying to make a technological breakthrough. But I’m not. I’m just trying to do my daily homework.
The disparity of study environments and methods between this year and last year were so incredibly vast at the beginning. I did not feel like going to school and wished I had continued being stuck in the four walls that had enveloped the entirety of my 2020.
This did change, but it took a complete rework of the way I approached in-person learning. And for that to happen, I had to change the way I approach ‘school’ as a whole. While school is a place to learn, it is also a place to enjoy yourself.
Not just about learning
This is probably the most obvious fact to which I was blind to, all the way up until the end of last month. School doesn’t innately mean books and grades. That’s a part of it, but not the whole.
School is more than just a location on a map. it’s a gathering. A gathering that occurs every day, at the same time, and the same place. It’s somewhat of a pocket dimension where for eight hours, all problems and worries of personal lives just don’t seem to register. A place where I can interact, share ideas, gain ideas and just be myself without being judged. A place where I can be socially awkward for eight hours straight and still make people laugh.
That’s the key.
The fact that I can wake up every morning and have a minor impact on someone else’s day by just being myself. This is my drive. To be able to meet my friends, share in their smiles and look forward to tomorrow is what keeps me coming back to the same crowded hallways and makes me climb the same set of stairs every morning. It’s not that the grades have reduced in their importance. It’s just that other values have increased in theirs.
Leila • Dec 8, 2021 at 2:51 pm
I like how this article addressed both the pros and cons of the transition from online to in person school. I think that many people are experiencing the same feeling and the repetitive routine taking place every single day. It’s hard to diversify your routine when you feel like you barely have time to breathe, which is probably what leads to this feeling in the first place. I like how the article gives ways to combat this feeling, and I also appreciate how well it was written. It gave some valuable insight into the lives of students all around the world.
Deven • Dec 8, 2021 at 10:11 am
It was very interesting, I used to be in online school, during that time I didn’t do very well, my grades started slipping etc. I agree the first time going to in person school may be hard to get through the day and be traumatic but I have first-hand experience that, in person, helps you learn better, improves your academic knowledge, and helps you be more active. I hope we never have to go back to online school. I also agree that school is a social gathering, every day when I go to school, I learn new information and meet friends. Homework can be exhausting but it’s part of learning and has a huge long term benefit.
Logan • Dec 8, 2021 at 10:10 am
I’ve also been experiencing similar issues with burnout and dissatisfaction due to chasing good grades, and it has led to a drastic decline in my motivation to learn anything else. I have noticed that I have been barely trying to stay afloat and letting a set of numbers on a website determine my self-worth. As a result, I started to ignore challenges I thought were too difficult to face in fear that I may fail, and I feel like trying to get a straight A+ report card has made me less creative and open to new ideas. Thanks for writing this article, Aniket. It discusses all the major issues I’ve experienced in school, and I couldn’t have written it better myself.
Stephen Myers • Dec 8, 2021 at 9:59 am
The transfer from virtual school to in-person school has been a large shift from what we are familiar with. I feel that the article did a great job of highlighting what students had missed out on during virtual school. Opposite to this, the article also touches on how some might find in-person school much more stressful. One thing I liked about the article was how it depicted each day. The first day was like a tutorial, but the second day was like the final boss fight. The description of the days let us realize how a student felt on the first week of school. At first, the student is excited to see all his friends, After the first day, the student doesn’t feel fond of going to school anymore. Overall, great article!
Owen • Dec 8, 2021 at 9:57 am
I think that this article summarized pretty well what the transition back to in person school was like. Being online for almost a year and a half really cut off a lot of the social interaction which was usually common in school. On top of that, I feel like if someone had some internet issues, they could easily miss something important during the lecture, which could have affected their overall performance in the class. In the future, I hope that we won’t have to go back to online school so we can talk to our friends, and learn without having any issues.
Om P • Dec 8, 2021 at 9:13 am
I really enjoyed this article, because of how much I could relate. I too, thought that school was going well at first then changed my mind. I have great grades but I feel as if my first year back in school is missing something I previously had. I agree with what you said about online learning, that students weren’t presented with the same level of education online. Online learning was decent but when I came back to school this year I feel as if I missed out on some information from my classes last year. I have started to teach myself the things I haven’t learned to better my understanding of what’s going on. I think school is going pretty well now.
Alen P • Dec 8, 2021 at 8:56 am
After reading this article, I could definitely relate. Walking in compared to logging in comes with benefits and challenges. Grades are just a part of it, though it’s good that you are doing well, from what you’ve said in the article. The social aspect of school is another challenge by itself, yet you’ve fit in by making people laugh. Burning out is also a big issue in my opinion as well. But finding purpose and meaning into pulling yourself to do well in school and have fun can make everything so much easier. Thanks for the article.
Ella E • Dec 8, 2021 at 8:46 am
I think this article was very accurate. I agree with what the author talked about when he said that each day he promises that it will be different, but then he gets too tired to think about that. The 7-classes a day schedule can be hard to keep up with, since teachers are cramming so much information in an hour, and then you rush to your next class and do it all again until your brain is filled with so much information that you don’t want to go home and immediately do your homework.
Jayashree • Dec 4, 2021 at 10:22 pm
Wow.. Aniket.. i just loved what you wrote.. the way u visualuzed your thoughts.. to be happy.. to get energized.. ?
Congratulations on your well written article .. wishing you all the best Aniket.